Tickle me elbow

Is it an amnesiac?

Welcome to the world of cataracts!  Yes, I have them in both eyes.  Well, I HAD them in both eyes.  Now I only have them in my left eye.  In my right eye I now have what is referred to as a toric lens which is an implant that replaces the old cataracted (is that a word?) lens and corrects for astigmatism.  This is a wonderful time to have cataracts because you can get toric lenses or a monofocal lens which allows you to have either distance or close-up vision or a I-forgot-what-it-is-called lens which has concentric circles and allows you distance and close-up vision without any further need for glasses or the just plain old lens which allows you to keep your trifocals and the only improvement is to see the world without interference from the cataracts.

The type of lens was a big decision for me to make because my insurance covered 100% (minus a $25 co-payment) for the just plain old lens.  The toric lens was recommended because of my astigmatism and I was told it will allow me distance vision but I will need a pair of Walmart or Dollar Tree reading glasses for reading and working on the computer.  For both eyes this is an additional cost of $4,157.00 which my insurance doesn’t cover.  The I-forgot-what-it-is-called (lets just refer to this as the IFWIIC) lens costs even more, which gives you an idea of why I didn’t go there, plus the fact that the IFWIIC doesn’t correct for astigmatism which would require that we go BACK into surgery and laser off portions of the IFWIIC to make this correction.

My friend, Linda, (not to be confused with my sister Linda from the previous post) had the just plain lens put in and is very pleased.  She can finally see the texture on her ceiling while lying in bed.  She gave me a gory and complete description of what the surgery entails including the fact that you are awake for the whole procedure.  “Didn’t you just freak out?”  I asked her. Her reply was, “Oh no, I don’t remember any of it.  They gave me an amnesiac so I wouldn’t remember it afterwards.  I’m just telling you what I read about it.”

I remember my mom had to have a heart procedure done which required her to be awake during the procedure and she was given an amnesiac so she wouldn’t remember the trauma of the event.  I don’t know about you but if something is going to be so terrible that they have to make me forget it, I’m not so sure I want to go through it in the first place.  However my other option was to continue to Mr. Magoo my way through life with ever diminishing eyesight.

So I did it.  The first thing that was done to me after checking to make sure I was who they thought I was was to get a tatoo on my forehead above my right eye.  Now, I’m not into tatoos–especially one on my forehead.  That’s a little too upclose and personal.  I relaxed, though, when I found out it was a tempory tatoo like the little kids get when they go trick-or-treating. 

My blood pressure was taken while getting the tatoo and a thermometer placed inside my right cheek (you know, those thermometers with a curly cord attached to a monitor that the nurse holds in her hand).  I felt so special with all this attention!  Suddenly the blood pressure cuff exploded off my arm and the thermometer shot out of my mouth when the nurse jerked around to catch the cuff. The tatoo lady kept on tatooing, though, and we decided to do the blood pressure and temp separately.  After this was safely done, My IV was placed which was not a terrible experience all in all.

Next, the nurse appeared with a long shot needle, saying, “Just to let you know this needle is not going in your eye.  It is not even going to touch your eye.  It just has a little xylocane in it that I’m going to carefully squirt into your eye to numb it up.”  I didn’t realize xylocane came in a gel.  In fact it was a very sticky gel that made my eyelashes stick together.  It was just like being slimed on ghostbusters.  I could barely open my eye so I decided it was best to just close both eyes.

They got me in a bed in the holding area and got me positioned real good and started my IV.  “What is that?” I asked.  “Oh it’s just something to relax you and a little something to help you not remember the procedure so well.”  An amnesiac, I thought.  I won’t remember a thing!

I was then wheeled into the surgery room and my sweet doctor said “Hello, again,” even though we had not yet said hello to each other.  My face was adorned with some kind of shield to expose only my right eye and my head positioned abnormally to the right, putting a strain on my neck.  I wiggled around trying to get situated, then the doctor was there putting a big round thing in my eye to keep it open and fluid flooded my eye–it actually felt good since my eye was starting to feel a little dry.  A bright light appeared overhead.  “Am I supposed to go toward that light?”  I asked.  “Yes,” the doctor matter-of-factly replied.  I think he had heard that one before.  The light got way too bright for comfort and I said something about it so he turned it down but it was still really hard to look at.  I felt him working in my eye, felt a little pressure and heard the doctor say, “Guess what I bought last night.”  After everyone guessed it turned out to be a bowling ball and there was some discussion about that.  I could tell when he was putting the lens in because he had someone calibrating it or something.  More of that lovely fluid washed over my eye.  They talked about the setting and the doctor said, “Are you sure it’s at a 5?  Because if it’s not she’ll be back.”  O please, I thought, let it be at a 5 because I don’t want to be back!  I remember thinking there is no way I’m going to forget this–amnesiac or no!

I guess they got it at a 5 because more beautiful fluid washed over my eye and the 15 minute surgery which felt much much longer was over.  The doctor tugged at the shield, pulling it off my face, which felt like I had just been skinned.  “Do I have any skin left?”  I asked him.  “Only on the left side,” he replied.  Obviously he had heard that one before, too.

They got me off the bed and offered me a comfy green overstuffed recliner.  “Oh, good, I get to take a nap,” I said.  “Nope,”said the attendant.  “We’re just getting your blood pressure and putting in some drops.  Would you like some juice or something?”  I tried to spread out the time it took to drink my apple juice so I could just chill a minute or two.  They brought my mom and my friend Bev back to see me.  “When will the amnesiac start working?”  I asked.  “Oh, probably by tomorrow,” the lady said.  My apple juice was gone and they were ushering me through a door to wait for my post-op.  I still remember everything so maybe they forgot to put the amnesiac drug in the IV afterall.  That is too bad because now I’m a bit reticent about having the left eye done.  But I do want to see, so I will go through with it.

I love the list of instructions I was given for post surgery do’s and don’t's.  Among them are:  Take your drops 4 times a day.  Don’t rub your eye.  Don’t poke yourself in the eye.  Don’t let shampoo get in your eye.  Thank God everyday for your vision.  I’m taking each of those very seriously, especially the last one.  I do thank God for my vision, and for new technology that allows us to recover lost vision.  I recommend it to you, too.  We can never thank our Heavenly Father enough for all he gives us.

Post Script:  Please read our numerous comments on this post.  There is a lot of good information submitted by other bloggers that you may find helpful.  Disclaimer:  This blog is written by and commented on by non-professionals in the eye care field.  We are simply relating our own experiences and any opinions expressed are solely those of the individual blogger.  Thank you for your interest and we wish you the very best in your own eye care experiences!  Smiles!~la